Meditation for PeaceCherishing our Husband or Wife # 1A wife is the female spouse, or participant in the marriage, civil union, or civil partnership.In chewing food, if our tongue and teeth do not work in harmony, we will mostly likely bite ourselves and shed tears.Likewise, in a marriage, if a husband and wife do not cherish each other and share mutual understanding, Not only will they be unsuccessful in life, they could possibly hurt each other until shedding tears.The Meaning of Husband and Wife:A husband is the male spouse (participant) in the marriage, civil union, o0r partnership civil partnership. A wife is the female spouse, or participant in the marriage, civil union, or civil partnership.Marriage is a union between a man and a woman as husband and wife. Both have to take care of each other and the family.Self-discipline: husband and wife should have the same standard of preceptsSeven varieties of a Spouse1. A rival: Such a spouse supports to all sorts of physical abuse, violence and always looking for the opportunity to kill. Such a spouse is cruel to their partner instead of being compassionate and enjoys looking down on them, while having no gratitude to them.2.A rlbber: Such a spouse is full of greed and deviously tries to extract as much as possible of their partner’s money for their own self-interests, i.e. gambling or extravagance.3. A boss: Such a boss spouse threatens your honor. They may be lazy- Constantly waiting for the chance to sit or lie down and rest instead of helping with their respective duties. They lack helpfulness, use threats, and insult their partner to make them work in their place.4. A mother: Such a spouse will forgive their partner for anything they do wrong just as a mother has limitless love for her child. For example, if the partner is ill or handicapped, they will look after their partner with the same care as a mother to a child. This is also true of a spouse whose partner dies while their children are still young. They carry on raising their children single-handedly without thinking of taking a new partner.5. A sister: Such a spouse is almost the same as the motherly spouse, but a little more playful, lonely, moody and emotional yet at the same time truthful, honest, and faithful.A boss: Such a boss spouse threatens your honor.6. A friend: Such a spouse is a person of similar background, tastes, and education as their partner. Unfortunately, such a couple tends not to have too much respect towards one another. Their level of morality will be similar and they can live quite happily together.7. A slave: Usually the intelligence of such a spouse is less than that of their partner. They will be honest, they may want to serve their partner to the utmost but they may make mistakes. They tend to allow themselves to be abused, slapped or beaten up by their partners without becoming angry, revengeful, and without blaming their partner.It takes a period of time in marriage to categorize which type of spouse we have. There are two periods in a marriage:- Before the marriage when each one tries to dress up their quality and quality shown to their partner.- After the marriage when each person has to do his or her duty to perform. This is when the advantages, disadvantages, skills and behaviors of each will become very clear.he secret of a happy marriage relies on keeping open channels of communication to deal with each other.Virtues of CompatibilityIn order for a couple to stay together for the long run, it is necessary that they are compatible in terms of the level of virtues they possess particularly the following four “virtues of compatibility”1. Faith: husband and wife should have the same level of spiritual faith and the same “aim in life”;2. Self-discipline: husband and wife should have the same standard of precepts, manners, and etiquettes towards one another;3. Self-sacrifice: husband and wife should have the same level of self-sacrifice in selflessly devoting themselves to generous deeds and /or helping others;4. Wisdom: husband and wife should have the same level of wisdom, creativity, empathy and common sense. They should be on the same communicative “wavelength” so that neither suffers from stubbornness.If both partners meditate on a daily basis, they will easily tune into a consistent and harmonious behaviour.Maintaining a MarriageConflicts can not be avoided in a marriage. The secret of a happy marriage relies on keeping open channels of communication to deal with each other. Maintaining good channels of communication according to the principle recommended by the Lord Buddha is to maintain a healthy “Emotional Bank Account” (sangahavatthu) with ones’ marriage partner. There are four ways of maintaining a healthy “EBA” (Emotional Bank Account) with your partner:1. Giving resources (dana):If two people are going to live together they must be able to share what they have with their partner. Any place that lacks generosity will be parched like a desert. Once married, all the property that was once individually owned should become mutual. To “Keep back” something as an individual asset will only create suspicion and suspicion can ruin a marriage. Thus, it is important to keep open channels of communication between each other whereby one partner can consult the other if they are suffering or are having problems with material resources.2. Endearing speech (piyavaca):A husband and wife should take care to always address each other with polite speech, even in the case that they need to criticize each other. Sometimes if things become too informal, careless words may touch on the “ views” of the other partner and disturb the peacefulness of the family. After marriage, one should use the same standard of polite speech as used before marriage.clear and easily keep what is appropriate for every situation3. Helpfulness ( atthacariya):A husband and wife need to lend each other a helping hand. Also if one of th partners learns something new concerning spiritual knowledge, they should share it with their spouse. When a conflict arises in the marriage, there is a huge temptation to put all the blame on the other partner instead of taking collective responsibility. However, if both are well-versed in spiritual teachings, the couple will tend to deal with the problem directly instead of merely looking for someone to blame.4. Consistence (samanatatta):Both husband and wife have implicit duties in the marriage to the degree that they must live up to those duties in order in order to avoid suspicion from their partner. If a family has decided that the wife should take responsibility for the running of the house, the husband should not interfere in the household affairs. Sometimes “appropriateness” is not immediately evident in every situation, and sometimes it is hard to sense what your partner expects of you. If both partners meditate on a daily basis, they will easily tune into a consistent and harmonious behaviour.In conclusion, both partners should follow the principles of generosity (share), observing precepts (to have endearing speech and prevent the flaws in ourselves to come out so that we can be helpful), and meditting regularly (this includes listening to sermons so that our mind will be bright, clear and easily keep what is appropriate for every situation).
Cherishing our Husband or Wife # 1
In chewing food, if our tongue and teeth do not work in harmony, we will mostly likely bite ourselves and shed tears.Dhamma Articles > Meditation Articles and Techniques > Meditation for Peace
[ Sep 3rd, 2011 ] - [ : 10590 ]